#urianger internally: payback :)

[tallbluelady]

What's a comedy plot you'd like to write?

I think writing some sort of babysitting plot would be funny. Maybe the Leveilleur twins would offer to watch the Argentas-Arugelt twins and hijinks would ensue.

"That was hard, Urianger. Were we that hard to watch as children?"

"Verily :)."

Thanks for the ask!

[happy-tori-friends]

TWITTER MUSINGS

i swear to god i. did a post like this with specific formatting but i cant find it to see what it was so. these arent in order even in the various sections. this isnt even all of it i just got tired tbh

Shifty Glam for FFXIV AU

hat - holy rainbow hat (sylph green)

body - noir longcoat (nophica green)

gloves - yorha type 51 gloves of scouting (deepwood green)

legs - noir slacks (deepwood green)

feet - model c-2 tactical longboots (hunter green)

viper weapon - ruthenium twinfangs (metallic green + ochu green)

rogue weapon - silver wolves (hunter green)

earrings - gold lone wolf earrings

neck + wrists + rings - n/a

'I Don't Know How To Write Fight Scenes'

shifty throws a dagger at the monster and lifty starts firing. the monsters comically falls over and ragsolls as robin tries to figure out what the fuck just happened. lucky is eating a sandwich. kirby victory theme starts playing.

Nutty in Magical Warrior AU / Pandemonium

i want nutty's weapon to be a crook/cane that looks like a candy cane. its why hed be a white mage if he was in ffxiv au. one white mage eats the weapon the other forgets to heal and beats the shit outta the enemies with the weapon nutty will be the 6th magical warrior probably. favoritism.

Various FFXIV Notes, Ideas, and Sillies

shifty, leaning over to whisper to lifty as urianger is talkimg: do you have any idea what the fuck this guy is saying

i think i have to rewrite the airship route for ffxiv au... grr... WHAT ARGUABLY MAKES THIS FUNNIER IS THAT SHIFTY MAY JUST BE FUCKING SITTING THERE WAITING FOR THE AIRSHIP TO GET TO GRIDANIA WITH HIS BROKEN BOW. lifty goes to limsa meets splendont, they talk to merlwyb 'haha this is funny you BOTH want the remembernce ceremony' -> they go to gridania and find shifty. guess who also wants a rememberance ceremony. kan-e-senna. talk to her. go to ul'dah. nanamo and rauhban. 'btw the limsa adventurers guild is looking for ppl to do a job.' and well they have to go see merlwyb again anyways. 'kan-e-senna wants this too.' proceed as normal oh yeah woohoo im smart.

dawntrail shifty has to go with erenville for the tuliyollal tour bc he would never fucking forgive bakool ja ja for crushing the tacos. Do Not mess with his food. how big is bakool ja ja he is very big right bc this angry 5 foot something miqo'te in a fedora beefing with him over food is really funny

ffxiv au shifty has a list of people he hates. starts with silvaire. zenos is crossed out when he dies. then he adds 'nvm hes back' and then crosses that out and adds 'nvm nvm hes dead again' after endwalker. emet-sekch and fandaniel are probably on it too. silvaire is the only one that remains uncrossed out. bakool ja ja gets crossed out with 'hes not dead we just kinda gave him a second chance ig'

would it be funny if in ffxiv someone said 'the twins' but did not specify lifty and shifty or alphinaud and alisae and no nvm its not funny

what do i want lifty to do in endwalker. what should his big thing be.bc shifty has zenos on his ass and im extending the final area for a dont moment… maybe the shiiiip? i dont remember a lot of details about endwalker funnily enough despite it being the most recent one i played through (THIS WAS B4 DAWNTRAIL) i imagine hes still a bit Fucked Up from shadowbringers (boyfriend almost dies trying to protect you n your brother and its very close to Actually being a disaster + all the other Shit.) and then in endwalker his brother gets body swapped and possessed, all their friends slowly sacrifice themselves for their b4 and then he n shifty do as well (payback for the light poisoning). and then when they get brought back and defeat the final boss shifty proceeds to have a fight to the death and almost fucking dies AGAIN. not to mention all the other kinda messed up stuff in endwalker too. lifty's probably just :) (and internally AAAAAA) the entire expansion. sorry buddy. tbf post arr into heavensward (the expansion where he takes focus) he isnt having the best of times either. i need to stop ffxiv au posting. and actually write it. 🤡 obviously he gets to be the one turned into a toad in labyrinthos. defining moment. (ily lifty) 'we should probably send one of you in with them' *dont and shifty look at lifty and are imagining the same fucking moment of him being like 'cool a frog! ribbit.' to be silly one time months ago.* you do one silly thing. ONE.

later decided on... i think lifty is gonna have moments in elpis + with meteion for his big endwalker moments. yeah hes npt the shard of azem - splendont is - but he and shifty's ancients are close companions of azem.

ffxiv au shifty makes lifty draw a lifesized cardboard cut out of bright volcano when he stops showing up to help them in dungeons as a joke but they keep lugging it around. shifty likes to commit to a bit (such as the nerd emoji whenever sniffles talked in chatfic c1) you know the 500 dollar 4 foot mareep plush? splendont makes a post like 'ah yes. me. my boyfriends. and their giant life sized cardboard cutout of our coworker' this wont happen but like. fucking imagine if it did. "'dont can you PLEASE ask feo ul for the cutout?" "shifts. Let It Go." its wouldnt even be drawn well btw lifty got tired of being bugged about it so he made it as fast as possible.

not crossposting this one because dawntrail spoilers but a thread if thee would like it

there is This tho - i really want 2 talk about dawntrail in htf x ffxiv au but im being patient but GOD bc they have the same backstory as in oblivion the whole final zone kinda fucks with the twins. it went from 'if shifty was with wuk lamat when bakool ja ja crushed the tacos he would be his zenos 2.0 so he cant be there' to 'lifty and shifty are reminded of the grief and longing + how abandoned by their family they feel while also having to save the world'

I KNOW I SAID ID STOP FFXIV AU POSTING but god the only think thats keeping lifty to stay calm and not freak out when the final days start is the fear of getting blasphemy'd I KNOW NOBODY CARES OR UNDERSTANDS MY OBSCURE VISIONS AND INTERPRITATIONS BUT I NEED TO YAP

emet-selch: i do not consider you to be truly alive. ergo, i will not be guilty of murder if i kill you. lifty shifty and splendont: *literally from a world with a death curse* honestly fair.

Jewel and Shady In Regards to Trans Lifty and Shifty

jewel and shady were adamant they were gonna have sons and had names picked out and everything only to learn theyd be having girls. what they didnt know is that both would decide they wanted to be boys very early on. some ppl were like 'theyre not even in school, its just a phase! why are you changing their names and stuff legally!' but jewel didnt care. she wanted them to be happy. and if they decided in the future that they weren't happy, she'd accommodate that. she actually planned to pay for everything when they turned 18 but then she perma died and everything went to shit for lifty and shifty. shadys reaction was 'i knew i was right. i knew i was gonna have sons!'. and while jewel would peacefully handle people giving unsolicited advice he would have to be held back from beating the shit out of them. he imagines running them over in his mind.

Evil Flippy Related Pandemonium Thought

toying with flippy / fliqpy killing one of the magical warrior au generals. baring in mind hes a high schooler here, no previous killings or war ptsd. no death curse either - magical warriors are protected from death and their injuries are healed via Soul Magic. whats worse is that while fliq is fronting he's 100% locked into dps, flippy is also a healer. so him trying desperately to save the general even though they're enemies because he didn't mean to but theyre already dead and there's no saving them. it was probably a fight or flight response, the general would have killed him if not for the transformation protection, but fliq forced his way to the front and well. dead bad guys general. itd be a willing general that wouldn't betray the order of twilight, not a brainwashed one but itd fuck with flippy a lot - idk how fliq would react and feel considering the setting and stuff but... likely less bothered about it? i have 2 think about it

The OG Plan for Pandemonium C1

TORI YAPS ABOUT MWAU.

(alt: happy precure friends episode 1 script - note this is a joke and even if the sequence is similar to the final product, actual events may very when i get to writing this)

shifty: you know what? *looks into the distance like theres a camera and he's on the office* it feels like we're in some shitty high school au written by some loser that hasnt been in high school for over 4 years and didn't even do anything interesting while in high school lifty: what? shifty: stfu. lifty: ??? shifty: lets go fuck around in the gas station. *suddenly. big scary sound. oh no! oh shit! what the hell!* shifty: cool a really realistic action movie scene. let's ruin it. lifty: shifty i swear to Fuck- *it was not a movie. there was a monster!!!! holy shit!!!1! and also some evil general* lifty: if this monster doesn't kill us im going to kill you myself general: i am Evil i love destruction the order of twilight will take over the world. *mascot jumpscare. hello lucky* lucky: check this out *casts a spell of summon fucking rock on them and then throws watches at them* ok put the rock in the watch and say pretty cure metamorphosis shifty: …i am not fucking doing that.

ok im not finishing this its not as funny as it was in my head

Misc. Sillies

shifty begging to use their crappy shared laptop and then proceeding to sabotage lifty's beloved sims games by installing slider mods and putting them in hotdog outfits and stuff

wholehearted believer of shifty being a shit cook and also committing food crimes and lifty is so close to losing it shifty, after taking over the kitchen while lifty laid down for a few minutes and making dinner for the date, looking at splendont: 🥺 lifty, from the other side of splendont: he's not calling you a good boy shifty that dinner was SHIT

im not gonna do it but i would be funny if they could use their magical warrior powers outside of being transformed. lifty tells shifty that if he doesnt shut up he's gonna electrocute him. shifty responds that he'll summon and drop a metal pipe on his head.

staff: your children keep skipping class and we just found out theyve been bringing contraband into school grounds. jewel: oh no, that's terrible :( i'll talk to lifty and shifty about this. shady, who did the same exact fucking thing: 😰

splendont brings the twins to a casino. lifty wins a lot of money. shifty loses everything and wants to throttle him.

the magical warrior au movie splendid: hey kids! you can use those miracle lights to cherr us on nad power us up! but- shifty: this is fliqpy. if you run around with those things or wave them like a fucking nuisance around he will kill you. splendid: :|

the fact im letting the twins' parents be alive in magical warrior au means that this stupid scenario in my head can be real lucky doesn't get along w shifty so lifty's always carrying him around + most assume the mascots are plushies. one day shifty and lucky fucking get into it for whatever reason (maybe lucky got him a detention or something) cut to shady (the twins' dad) coming into their room. "okay so your brothers at therapy rn and your next. anyways what do you want for dinner?" and then opens his eyes and sees shifty holding lucky down with a towel over his head and pouring water on him. "are you waterboarding your brother's stuffed animal?" dinner is awkward that night. "i figured with two teenage boys id get punished for walking in without knocking eventually. but not this. never this.' shady is so funny to me when he's not an awful horrible father once his wife dies. the Grief changed him. but now isnt the time to go into my htf parent ocs.

shifty, at the grocery store: i am going to steal this apple sneaky, rising from the grave and teleporting to his location while the outlaw theme from pmd sudden begins to play: apparently someone stole an entire ass pool from walmart and my parents witnessed it. lifty and shifty steal a pool and are like 'fuck yes who needs ac when you have a pool' and drag it up to their shitty apartment only to realize they dont have any way to fill it. do not worry my beloveds i will carry buckets of water up the stairs for you to have a pool.

[flutterbyhime]

I just had a brain blast for my Wolianger headcannon.

So Yvainne is a botanist at heart. Saving the world and its reflections is great and all, but flora and plant life? That's where it's at for her. And as she gets more comfortable being a part of the Scions, she starts bringing in flowers every now and then to brighten things up. It tends to be a little inconsistent on when she brings them in (being the Warrior of Light isn't always great for maintaining a steady schedule for day to day things), but she does try to get a wide array of colours and types for the cheap vases she's picked up during her travels.

The thing is, for all her knowledge in botany, Yvainne is completely oblivious that flowers have their own special meanings. She has no idea that there's a whole language of flowers thing, nor that there are books published on the subject. So her amateur arrangements are mainly just “these are pretty together!” and not much else.

Urianger, however, does know about the language of flowers and proceeds to internally panic any time Yvainne stops by with a fresh arrangement. Especially when it’s just him at the Waking Sands and she has no professional reason to be there. On one hand, he’s pretty sure that he’s just overthinking things, on the other hand... does she have romantic feelings for him? Does he for her? And sometimes there’s conflicting messages within the bouquet itself. It’s enough to drive him mad. He does mean to ask her about it at some point, but he can never seem to find the courage to do so or the timing is bad for such a question.

Eventually though, Urianger does get around to asking her. Granted it’s months into them officially being a couple, but he does ask her! And Yvainne is both completely mortified and surprised at what she’s been doing to the poor man for ages. She demands that he teach her all about flower languages and he agrees. But he hides all the books he buys for her. They’re all in places she’ll eventually go to when she needs something specific, but won’t need right away. It’s Urianger’s own little payback. He gets a little chuckle whenever she bursts into a room with one of the books with a red face and asking if he knew what lilies of the valley meant. Because she certainly didn’t and they’re her favorites.